IF YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK THEN WHAT THE ***K WAS I THINKING

soup

How to turn a 20 second sachet soup into an hour or so of agony.

It’s winter here in Sydney, Australia. It’s cold and raining. I’m working away at my computer in the office when I think ‘I’d like some soup’

I got some packet soup from the pantry and after a glance at the box I followed the instructions and opened the sachet. I’m suppose to empty the contents into a mug but for some reason which is yet to be discovered I put my finger into the sachet and then put the said finger, now coated with powdered soup, into my mouth.

‘Wow that’s nice’ was my initial reaction. Then somehow the thought got into my mind that it might be quicker not to bother with boiling the water and adding it to the soup and then waiting for it to cool. What a waste of time. Why not just eat it all now like I’ve been doing this with the powdered chocolate drink.

I decided to spoon the total contents into my mouth but unlike the chocolate powder the soup didn’t seem to digest. All of a sudden I wasn’t feeling well my stomach was cramping and my throat was chocking. I looked at the packet and there weren’t any instructions of what to do if you eat it without adding the water. There were no warnings. What was I to do?

I thought I can’t drink a cup of boiling water that will burn my throat or gut. I then thought of a glass of cold water but I hate cold soup and that would defeat the purpose of having a warm drink which I wanted in the first place. Anyway I also thought that by adding a glass full of water this might cause rapid expansion of the contents inside my stomach and they would only have one way to go from there and that’s upwards, outwards and onto the kitchen floor.

For some reason I decided to sip a little of weight watchers citrus cordial which was in the fridge. It seemed to do the trick, I think it was the chilling effect. It’s now 8 PM and I still don’t feel well but I’ve just noticed on the side of the packet in little typing a note that says ‘any questions call 1800 888 997’. Well it’s a bit late now isn’t it. What was I thinking? I hope they don’t make powdered roast dinners.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “IF YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK THEN WHAT THE ***K WAS I THINKING

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s