Early every Sunday morning the sounds of the Road Rider flock on one of their endless training rides can be heard as they gaggle down the road that passes my unit. 

This Sunday morning things will be different. Cyber Rider Sean aka cycavatar ‘The Mask Rider’ will hide in the side street and as the flock passes by he will shoot out and join the back of the Road Rider pack. 

The aim is to work my way through the pack and gain control at the front. From there it’s is anyone’s guess what will happen at the moment they realise that a Cyber Rider has gained leadership of the peloton. 

I will then stage a one man breakaway, that’s the plan. 

I can hear them 100 metres away gaggle gaggle; gaggle gaggle. SNAP my helmet clip is fastened. It’s game on. I begin to glide off. 

They whiz by and I flash into action and the pursuit is on. I can feel the air in the tubes heating up, the tyres begin to get hard, my feet become one with the peddles and soon I’m romancing the bike. 

I hook onto the tail of the peloton and commence to work my way to the front. It is then I find out why they wear those very tight lycra pants. The answer is that it enables the Road Riders when in danger to emit a high pitch call “intruder intruder.” 

Cyber Rider Blogman has been found out. Click click their gears go up, then in unison 20-30 tight arses go up and within an instant they cheekly ride off leaving me behind to form a one man peloton. 

Yes I underestimated their speed and acceleration and yes they made me look silly but I’ll be back; perhaps next time with a rolling start and a packet of thumb tacks. 

I firmly grip the handlebar of my iron steed and peel off towards the cycle track that runs along the edge of the bay. I watch the turning tide and let my dreams sail away.




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