SALAMI WARNING FOR AUSTRALIAN EAST COAST

I decided to go fishing down the south coast this morning so figured I had to be up about 5am. To ensure my early departure I set my radio alarm.

Buzz buzz buzz, I woke up to hear the news declaring a “potential salami threat” for Queensland, NSW, Victoria, Tasmania, Lord Howe Island and Norfolk Island.

I thought to myself not that bloody salmonella scare again. Now I’ve gone off hot dogs due to an unfortunate encounter at a football match a few years back and have become quite taken with cabanossi which is a type of dry sausage similar to a mild salami. You can imagine how I felt about this ‘bad-news’ announcement.

I love to cut it into bite sized chunks and eat it cold as a snack while watching TV, sometimes with chunks of cheese or crackers. Some people like sliced cabanossi on their pizza as topping. I’ve heard the warnings that processed meat increases the risk of developing cancer and that the high amounts of salt can cause trouble with the gastric mucosa of our stomach but I just love the taste.

Anyway in my half-sleep groggy state off I went fishing. You can see the weird sunrise I captured from the top of the escarpment on the way down to the coast. It was all misty with low cloud cover which clung to the horizon. I did an hour or so of unsuccessful fishing and then adjourned to the café on the headland overlooking the pool for breakfast.

That’s when things got a bit crazy. It was about 8.30am or so and I was settling into a serving of scrambled eggs as a crowd was gathering on the headland. The guy next to me had binoculars and was talking about the salami warning.

 I asked him “Did you hear about that warning too?”

“Yes” he said “they’ll be here about 8.45”

“Who’ll be here” I asked

‘The tsunami from the earthquake” he said

“Tsunami, I thought you were talking about salami” I replied

“Salami” he said

“Yes you know the salami warning that was on the news this morning” I said

“Oh yeah, very funny” he said

 I filled my mouth with scrambled eggs to go with my scrambled brain.

 The moral to the story is keep eating processed meat but don’t trust what you hear when you’re half asleep ‘cause you’re probably going to get it all wrong

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8 thoughts on “SALAMI WARNING FOR AUSTRALIAN EAST COAST

  1. Not an excuse, to try and hide your lack of understansing of English language. No wonder Kevin of our government is trying to implement a new education system, to cater for people like you with learning problems…ha ha

    Go the salami kid!

  2. Yes, the world needs a Sean in it! Your humor is simply a good “public service” indeed. (However I’m sure scrambled brains has NEVER happened to me – pure clarity every day! Delusional perhaps, but never confused!) You do have a gift for humorous story telling Sean.

  3. Salami, OMG.

    My Internet friend is living in Chile, in Conceción and few days ago, I got message that he and his family are Okay, but without water and electricity.

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