LARRY’S NOT A LETTUCE HE’S A RUNAWAY LIZARD

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He was there one minute and then he was gone. I knew it would come to this sooner or later. Larry has run away from home.

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He was sitting on the bench and the moment I turned my back, like a lizard he slithered over the balcony and ran off down the street.

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There he is down there.

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I followed him to the bus stop and the poor bugger thought he was catching a bus to Miranda Fair Shopping Centre but unfortunately this route will take him to the Flemington Markets and that’s not going to be much chop for a poor old lettuce.

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We sat together for a while but didn’t say much . He was so unhappy. I promised to take him seriously and I let him know I was worried.

I asked what was upsetting him.  Apparently he feels he’s being bullied by some of the other foods in the kitchen. The other day the Bacon asked the Tomato

“What is a Honeymoon Salad?”

“I don’t know” replied the Tomato

“Lettuce alone, with no dressing!” said the Bacon and they both started laughing and Larry found this really hurtful.

I walked him back to the unit and with the tomato and the Bacon present we all had a discussion. They didn’t realize that they were being cruel. Eventually there were smiles all around and Larry even had a few jokes of his own.

“Why did the tomato go out with a prune?” He asked

“Because he couldn’t find a date!” was his answer.

We all politely laughed. But his best was this one.

A man goes to the Doctor with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ear. “That looks nasty,” says the doctor. “Nasty?” replies the man, “this is just the tip of the iceberg!”

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I think that following our little happiness session things are better in the kitchen. We have found our flow and Larry is content to sit in the sun out on the balcony.

 

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15 thoughts on “LARRY’S NOT A LETTUCE HE’S A RUNAWAY LIZARD

  1. Double ha! made my day!
    On a serious note this story could explain why my Lilly Lettuce is dying a slow death in the bottom drawer of my fridge. On reading this story I checked in with Lilly and it seems that Long Cool Cucumber and Cocky Carrot have been putting the hard word on Lilly. I have explained to them that this in not acceptable behaviour, they were both very apologetic, explaining it was just meant to be a “joke” and hopefully we will see Lilly perk back up to her usual crispy self in no time.

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